Thursday, November 18, 2010

Sociology Realizations 3

As I briefly stated in my last post, my sociology professor’s wife has taken over his class while he is away in the States for 2 ½ weeks. We distracted her enough for her to tell us how she met her husband and how they decided to get married and so on. The response we received was quite a bit off from my ideal concept and understanding of love. She talked about the expenses of having a baby, which is a very strong reality that most people don’t necessarily think about before having their first child. Diapers and clothes and a high chair and a car seat and a crib and a stroller and all these other random things that people need to have for their perfect little angel sent from above. And then all the lovely negative aspects of having children: things that can go wrong during a woman’s pregnancy and/or childbirth. There is suffering and sickness and a whole lot of pain.

Oh, and apparently the same goes for dating and marriage. During the dating process, there is only one thing on each partner’s mind: for the guy, how to get her to have sex with him; and for the girl, how to trap him into a committed relationship. And once two unfortunate people get married, then what happens? They end up hating all those cute little adorable things that the other used to do while they were dating. Those things that you didn’t mind doing every once in a while are now expected all the time (like doing laundry or watching that chick flick). That person who once brought you so much joy and happiness and, quite frankly, love is now the epitome of your anger and annoyance. And sometimes things get so bad that you just want to walk out on them, and they want the same. Then you start looking around at friends’ relationships and see only brokenness and defeat and you wonder, “Where did the love go?”

What’s the truth about love? Love makes you vulnerable and love hurts. But love also gives you strength, love is beautiful, love is accepting, love heals your wounds. Love, when given and received properly, is a wonderful thing. It encourages a person to become selfless, putting the wants and needs of another person in front of their own. But in return, that person is putting the wants and needs of that person in front of their own. It is a cyclical process that makes people step out from themselves and look to how they can make someone else’s life better. It is the desire to enter into someone’s life while giving that person the chance to enter into their own. Love is giving your heart to another person and trusting them not to break it. And sometimes that person will. Sometimes it wasn’t meant to be with that person, and no matter how many times you ask, “why”, you may never find an answer. Not until another person walks into your life with a roll of duct tape and some glue and takes your heart away and fixes it. Now that, that is love.

But love is real. It’s not all about the beautiful and happy, it has downfalls and sometimes brings out the pain in order to bring healing. “A broken heart means that you went after something you really wanted”. Love is about taking chances, falling for something that you’re not entirely sure will catch you. And sometimes it takes a couple of falls to find the right person who was ready to catch you and to support you. Don’t give up after your first fall, it’s a learning experience. There is good in every situation, you just have to be open and aware enough to search for it. But look for that good, and let that be the force that drives you forward in life.

Love is about commitment, forever and always. “Love pushes you off your balance in order to give your life balance”. Have you ever heard “You have two ears, two hands, two legs but only one heart. That’s because God put your other one in another person”? (Or something similar at least). Before you meet that person, you go living your life how you want to, not having too many external responsibilities or obligations. And then “that person” enters your life randomly, someone you weren’t expecting. I’m not saying that they bring about all these overbearing and annoying responsibilities and obligations that you now have to take care of, but they require more of your time and effort. But through that you find what you have been missing all your life. It is not viewed as a chore (at least not all the time) as you can find yourself enjoying all that time that you spend together. When that person is upset, you don’t see it as a hassle to bring them their favorite chocolate bar, or call them just for the heck of it. It is the desire to be together, and the desire of being wanted.

Love is not easy, but it is not impossible either. There will be some bad times, but there will also be amazing times that accompany them. It is healthy to be realistic, not necessarily overly optimistic and certainly not pessimistic. It’s not a bad thing to be aware that bad things will happen no matter what situation you’re in, but you do not have to dwell on them and you do not have to make them the center of how you view love. If you’ve been hurt in the past, let it go. Let them go. Do not allow that person to have power over your life, because your life is under your control.

Letting go
I sit here and stare off into nothing
While the words circle around in my head
Though they don’t make sense
The feelings of despair still spread
Along with longing of how things once were
Yet I continue to reread those words
My heart refuses to realize
Or admit why it hurts
Though I’m not meant to understand
I search for the meaning
Of why it had to happen this way
Though I’m not past feeling
The pain of losing you
While the recovery may be slow
Deep down I know the truth
That it’s time to let you go.

“In these few moments, in these imperfect actions, in these useless words, will you take me?” Love is a partnership. It is about giving more than you take. For those times that you need help, when you take more than you give, do not think of it as something bad. It is the other person’s chance to give more than they take. There will be a time, many times, in a person’s life that they need help, that they cannot make it on their own. And that’s the beauty of love: knowing that you don’t have to.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Photo Shoot and Dream Room Revealed

Nov 8
Sociology has gotten a lot more personal. Professor Garrett has left to be States-side for a while, and his wife is filling in for him while he’s away for the next two weeks. It’s been… interesting… to say the least. But at least at the end of the day I had a wonderful dinner. Thanks to Gabby, my cooking perspective continues to grow. It was a great mixture of beef, corn, mushrooms, meat sauce served on pasta. It was delicious! Then to kindly walk Gabby to the bus stop only after walking through a mini lake to get her there. Literally, the entire width of the road was flooded, and Gabby and I had to shimmy across the curb next to this fence to get around it. On the way back, I decided to put my boots to the test and just walk through the monstrosity. Success, they work!

Nov 9
While we’re here, we have three meetings with our Tri-S leaders. Tri-S stands for spirituality, sustenance and shenanigans (cause I can’t remember it). We met a few weeks ago to help us adjust and prepare for the culture shock (which I don’t really think I’ve gone through, thank God) and other cultural differences that we may have faced. We will have one more meeting within the next month to help us prepare for our trip back to the States and how to appropriately adjust back to our own culture. It’ll be interesting, and very sad.

I remember when I was younger and I would say that I would never, EVER, like my brothers and that they would never care about me. Sadly, I truly believed that from the bottom of my heart. But now that I’m older I am able to appreciate my brothers a lot more, and in funny and subtle ways I can tell that they love me. Like with a quick chat with Kevin on Skype, he randomly asks:
          Fran Strauch: when are you coming back?
          Fran Strauch: not that i care…
          Fran Strauch: just curious
          Kimberly Strauch: umm 5 weeks minus 2 days
          Fran Strauch: 33 days
Sorry for my sappy little sister moment, but this meant a lot to me. When I was little, I wanted nothing else than for my brothers to accept me. Not only do they accept me, but they, no matter how little they’ll ever admit it, miss having me around. That’s awesome :)

Nov 11
Did you make a wish? It was 11/11 today after all. Anyways, tonight was wonderful because I got to spend it with one of my friends that I haven’t hung out with for a long time. We got together and watched ‘Up’ which is a wonderful movie, and had tea and cookies while we caught up on all the things that have been happening in our lives. A very nice and relaxing evening.

Nov 12
Note to self: Lithuanian homework is not to be expected to be completed within an hour’s time. The Lithuanian language is pretty difficult seeing that there are so many different forms to say how a person does something, goes somewhere, eats food, or does essentially anything else. There’s a form for everything, and you have to be careful to use the correct one, in the right singular vs. plural debate. It’s more time consuming that one might have originally expected.
PANCAKES! I finally got around to making my pancakes. Served with nutella and honey and bananas, it was very refreshing. I’ve realized that I really love tea, like really love it. Coffee is overrated, yet it does smell wonderful. But coffee vs. tea? Tea wins every time, all the time over coffee. Debate over. Thank you and have a good night ;). AFter dinner, Gabby came over to attempt to make lazy cake, which is this mixture that you don't have to bake or anything. Unfortunately, this mixture was lacking some key ingredients, so the entire process was a flop. But then we were off to Memelis to meet up with a few friends over some kepta duona. I will attempt to make this when I get home, but don’t be super disappointed when it doesn’t work. But, once again, the use of cell phones is a teasing memory as our meeting place wasn’t exactly specified and we ended up missing each other. Oh well, it was a well needed girl’s night out as VH1 was playing the top women’s voices, and we enjoyed guessing who would be up at the top. Oh, and of course kepta duona was still consumed.

Nov 13
Another morning beautifully started with pancakes with nutella and bananas. Delicious, I know :). And Gabby is finally coming over after a week of waiting to go to the amber market. It was raining the entire week, so we figured the people wouldn’t be out there. But today the sun (yes, that big white shining thing in the sky that I have been missing) is out for the time being.

Gabby and I took a walking tour around Klaipėda so that I could take pictures with Amorè. For those of you who don’t remember, Amorè is the traveling bear that I share with Caroline, Sam and Lauren. The weather was decent enough, the sun popping in and out from the clouds, but the wind was a little bit out of control. But we still enjoyed our photo shoot. Then off to a Thai restaurant with Calvin and Gabby :). It was so delicious, and thanks to Gabby not allowing me to switch over to a spoon, I ate nearly my entire dish with chopsticks! Much harder to do with noodles, but still sort of manageable.

On our way back to Karklu, we walked past Max Coffee and stopped by for some delicious caramel and mint macchiato and some amazing Max brownie. And then some interesting photo sessions.
Nov 14
Yet another unproductive day. My motivation enjoys a break from work as much as my mind does. I attempted to do some shopping today, but forgot that some stores like to close on Sundays. Better luck tomorrow. Oh, and I finished my picture of my dream room! There are two different ones, but I think the one on the left is my absolute favorite. I'm sure it will change again once I go to paint it, but it will be something along these lines.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Where Did November Come From?

Nov 1
So much for recovery week, I’m completely drained from Russia. Good thing we had off today for All Saint’s Day, I really needed the extra day to recuperate. I had to schedule for classes while I was in Russia, which thankfully my advisor successfully completed for me. Here’s what I’m in for:
MWF - 1:00-1:50 - Psych History and Systems
MW – 3:00-4:20 - Experimental Psych
TR – 1:00-2:20 - Psych of Personality
TR – 2:30-3:50 – Psych of Religion
T – 4:30-7:00 – Leadership and Group Com

Tuesdays are looking like they’re going to be a real pain, but good thing I love my professor from 1-4. And hey, there’s nothing a pint of ice cream and some mozz sticks from the Breezeway can’t cure!

Nov 2/3
Nothing really special happened either day except Wed I found out that my Soc paper was moved from Friday to Monday! This is great news seeing that I have an exam on Thurs and another on Fri. November is going to be a really quiet month, so I’m looking into traveling somewhere to spice it up a bit. Not sure exactly where yet, but Sweden is looking very attractive!

Nov 4
What better way to end my week than taking a couple of exams?! Then off to Neumann to celebrate James’ 21 birthday. Have you ever heard of the game, “What if?” No? Well, it’s a really simple game, and super hilarious. You have this piece of paper that you write a “what if” statement on it, and then randomly exchange with the people around you. Once everyone has exchanged, you write a reply to your statement. Then one person will read their “what if” statement, and the person to their right will read their response. One of my new found favorites.

Nov 5
I have awesome friends. And when I saw awesome, I really mean cruel and unforgiving. I was a bit unenergetic during lunch, which lead to the perfect opportunity for Gabby and Mike to take advantage of my arm. Yes, my entire right arm. I had everything from chickens to hearts to snails to different languages all the way from my fingers up to my sleeve. I want it to be known that I knew they were doing this, but they were having too much fun and I was way too tired to care verymuch. Though I did have a lot of fun explaining to my friends in my classes following lunch about why I had all these shenanigans drawn all over my arm.

Nov 6
This morning a group of people headed over to Old Town to go shopping in the amber market. We stopped by Max’s Coffee for a good morning wake-me-up and then continued on our way to have a very successful shopping trip. It was a quiet afternoon as I simply waited to go to Memelis for the third part of James’ birthday celebration. It was a very relaxing day, but my lack of productivity only means a busy Sunday as I have a paper to write and another exam to study for.

Nov 7
Today consisted of homework and some room cleaning. Kate Lynn, I had no motivation to write this Soc paper, so I watched two movies in your honor, while of course writing my paper ;). Reminds me of the good ole days… Well, that’s it for my oh so exciting week, hope you weren’t too overwhelmed by it!

Monday, November 1, 2010

Visiting the Motherland

Oct 23
The plan was to wake up at 7, snooze until 7:15, then finish some last minute packing until I had to be ready and downstairs at 8. What actually happened? Heard my alarm at 7, snoozed until what I thought was 7:15, looked at my I-pod and stared at a very blurry 8:06. WHAT!?! I’m telling you I flew out of bed and started frantically packing. My hands were absolutely shaking as I tried to put my contacts in so that I could actually see what I was doing. I was dancing from desk to desk grabbing chargers and food and whatever else I could remember that I wanted, but don’t worry everyone, I couldn’t forget my passport again because Emas was holding on to all them until we got on the bus.

I got downstairs around 8:15, only to realize I wasn’t the last one! Phew, I felt a lot better and tried to quietly catch my breath after running down all those stairs. After a short while, we were on our way to Neumann to pick up the rest of the group. It was a cloudy day, and it was raining softly as we headed to the Hill of Crosses, only about 2 hours into our drive to Riga. The Hill of Crosses is exactly what it sounds like: a huge hill with thousands of crosses, of all different shapes and sizes.
We stopped in Lido again for dinner at the same restaurant from my last trip to Latvia. The food was just as good as I remembered :). Around 4:30 we headed off to catch our 17 hour train ride to Moscow, Russia. The section of the train that we had was set up with two benches on the left that comfortably seated two people per bench and had two beds lofted above them. To the right were two smaller seats with a table that folded to transform it into a bench, with another bed lofted above it. Now, my bed was tricky and didn’t have a step up to help me climb up. What I had to do was jump up, grab onto the handle on the side of the wall, and shimmy onto my bed and somehow manage to turn around so my head was towards the aisle. It was really funny to watch, and I had to do that multiple times while I was getting ready to go to sleep. I’m glad everyone enjoyed my struggle.

I was really tired but Emas suggested that we stayed awake until we got through the two border checkpoints, one for Latvia and one for Russia. We stopped at the Latvian border around 11 and got to the Russian border around 1. Don’t worry Mom, I made sure not to say Hi to my friend Jack, or say anything that sounded like bomb too loudly. After the border checks I made my little cup of soup for dinner. It was delicious and just the perfect size to hold me over til tomorrow morning for breakfast. Ah, bedtime!

Oct 24
I hold true to what I said before: I do not like sleeping on moving vehicles. I caught a few hours of precious sleep on the train, but nothing steady. At 9:30 we hopped off the train and wandered over to the underground metro to get to our hostel. I forgot that we weren’t allowed to take pictures because of some feared conspiracy, but I did manage to snag one before Emas told me I was going to get arrested. It wasn’t overly crowded as it wasn’t rush hour, and I liked it a lot better this way as it was easy enough to maneuver.

We stopped for brunch at the mall before heading off to the Red Square for our 3 hour tour (insert Gilligan’s Island theme song here…). The weather was absolutely gorgeous as I was completely comfortable in a light hoodie and my peacoat. Not quite what I was expecting of Russia. I was more prepared for two sweaters, my jacket, coat and two scarves, but hey, I’m not complaining! At the Red Square, you can see four distinct things: a hugenormous shopping mall; the Kremlin, which is the big red wall fortress which I like to call, “The Great Wall of Russia”; Lenin’s mausoleum; and St. Basil’s, the beautiful building that has the icecream scoop like bulbs at the top. I thought my feet would have remembered how to handle long tours, but apparently they forgot. Though I did know some tricks to battle the soreness of my feet, the group had a fun time standing on the sides of our feet and rocking back and forth to relieve some pressure. It was a great time.
Then we headed off to the circus. I haven’t been to the circus in about 8 years or maybe longer, and I had forgotten how much fun it was. This guy was balancing on a ladder while holding a girl on his head. And then later the same guy balanced another ladder on his head while the girl climbed to the top and did some balancing tricks. And there was a trapeze act, and a bear was driving a car, and a guy stuck his head down a lion’s throat… too many things to talk about! But for what I can possibly explain through my excitement, it was amazing! I loved it!!
Oct 25
We were able to go inside of St. Basil’s Cathedral today, and as James said, “One way in, no way out”. It was slightly harder to find the exit than it was to find the entrance, but we got out alright after a couple minutes of hard searching. Speaking of searching, we had a much harder time finding the market than we had originally planned. We arrived at a small mall-like structure, but too expensive for what we were looking for. We gave up and headed off to Starbucks to get a nice Moscow thermos :) I look forward to using that to keep me warm during the next couple of months. And on our way back to the Red Square, I got my fuzzy hat that I wanted so badly!

We returned to the Red Square later in the evening to see all the buildings lit up at night. It was beautiful. A small group went over to better observe St. Basil’s and this street sweeper was roaming around cleaning the streets. Sounds pretty boring and uneventful, but it was a hilarious addition to our night.


People were very unobservant as this huge water-shooting vehicle that was driving towards them, and a few times it actually looked like the sweeper was aiming to run people over. It was a lot of fun to watch, until it got a bit closer to where I was sitting. My group got up to stand at the top of the stairs and then we were going to walk away and meet up with everyone else. As we were walking down, the sweeper turns back around and comes straight at us! Everyone scattered and tried to avoid getting sprayed by the sweeper and then calmly came back together as if nothing had happened. It was very funny… just smile and nod if you don’t get it. I’ll explain later.
Happy 22nd Birthday Gabby! I’m glad you’re not too old to still remember it ;) (Old jokes are always funny. And by old, I mean older than me).

Oct 26
Sadly, it was time to check out of Godzilla’s hostel and head out to our last few hours in Moscow. We went to Lenin’s tomb to see the great former Soviet leader. I didn’t know what to expect, but it was pretty intimidating walking along the Kremlin with all the guards standing around, though some of them were smiling and didn’t seem like they were going to attack me for breathing. Walking past Lenin was creepy because he was just laying there, looking way too perfect for being dead for close to 90 years.

Nastya, Derek, Steph and I walked over to the State Tretyakov gallery which held hundreds of paintings and a few sculptures. I probably averaged about 3 seconds looking at each painting, which seems pretty sad thinking about how long it must have taken each artist to beautifully paint their vision. But with hundreds of paintings, it’s hard to give any one piece of artwork more time if I wanted to see the most that I could out of the museum.

Around 4:30, we were off to catch the 5 hour train ride to St. Petersburg. The train reminded me of a jet plane, long and sleek and only a pair of seats on either side. And they even played a movie! It was in Russian of course but it reminded me a lot of the Jungle Book. I watched parts of it between my moments of trying to sleep. Failed attempt at sleeping on a moving vehicle #3.

Oct 27
St. Petersburg is a whole lot colder than Moscow was. Today I wore a tank top, a shirt, a sweater, a heavier sweater, my light hoodie, my peacoat and two scarves. I was hot to begin with, but by the end of the day I was happy I was wearing all six layers. We had another 3ish hour tour today with our guide, Peter. He spoke British English, and this made me very happy :). We got to see the Church of Spilt Blood, the one that resembles St. Basils from Moscow, Kazan Cathedral which is the big curved building that looks like the Vatican in Rome, the Winter Palace which is the huge green building, and St. Isaac’s Cathedral, the gold dome one.
Tonight the group dressed up to attend the much awaited Russian Ballet, especially for Calvin’s 21st Birthday! The first part was called Carmen Suite which was a storyline based upon this woman becoming trapped in a deadly love triangle. The second was called Le Carnaval which starred my favorite dancer, Pierrot. Pierrot (the one in gray with long sleeves) was something like a court jester who was chasing the butterfly, Papillon (the girl in the center with roses). And the third was about a battle between Death, Winter and Fertility along with help from the Sun. Overall, I liked the story line of the first one best because I could follow it the easiest; I enjoyed the second one the most thanks to Pierrot; and I loved the dancing the most in the third.
Oct 28
The morning was free to explore the Kunstkamera Museum, or what we like to call the Abnormal Museum. The most exciting, or should I say grossly fascinating, was the second level exhibit of deformed, or abnormal, fetuses. Seeing all the things that could possibly go wrong with a baby is truly terrifying. After that, the group headed off to Peter and Paul’s Fortress before heading off to the Winter Palace, the gorgeous green building that I adore. It was here that I first noticed the tank and exclaimed, “Wow, I really want to hang upside down from that!” And so I did, twice :).
And finally, we were off to explore the inside of the Winter Palace, also called the Hermitage. We had about 4 hours to explore, and I used up every minute. Lauren and I stayed together without a distinct plan of where we wanted to go, merely wandering around seeing as much as we could. We ended up seeing most of the most popular attractions: the Jordan staircase, a single flight of stairs in the middle that opened up into two sections going up along the side; the throne room; the peacock clock, a gorgeous gold clock that had a peacock in the middle, with an owl to its right, a squirrel sitting on a stump, a mushroom with a butterfly that indicated the second hand, and overall looked like a small serene scene from the forest, it was gorgeous; Michelangelo’s crouching boy sculpture; a few paintings by Van Gogh; and the Jupiter room. The entire building was simply magnificent, and reminded me a lot of Versailles.

Oct 29
For once, I’m not excited that today is Friday. This means that my week in Russia is almost over, and I’ll start the long trek home tomorrow. But anyway, the group spent the morning going to St. Isaac’s cathedral. Like all the other cathedrals, St. Isaac’s was filled with gorgeous paintings and murals covering the entire interior. I really wish the States had some churches like this, but I guess that’s what makes Europe so special. After St. Isaac’s, a small group went to take in more Russian art and history by going to the Russian Museum. Sad to say, I think I’ve had my fair share of Russian art for a while, but I enjoyed all that I got to see.

We ended our last full day in Russia with a bang by going to the performance, “Feel Yourself Russian”. The show included singing and dancing, showing off different styles of traditional Russian clothing and so much fun! Russia, you’ve done well.
Oct 30
Today was a free day to explore all the places that we might have missed over the course of the week. The entire group went to see the Church of Spilt Blood, which was built in remembrance of Tsar Alexander II, who was killed at that location. That section of road that he was killed on is actually preserved in the church. Another amazing attribute to this church is that the interior is one continuous mosaic. It was breathtakingly beautiful.
Free time = Shopping. My goal for the day: buy a cheburashka. You may be wondering what a cheburashka is, and let me tell you, I honestly don’t know. It is a Russian imaginary character that according to Stephanie looks like a monkey-bear. But I really wanted one, so off Steph and I went in search for it. We found them, but the price started at 700 rubles, which is over $20! I stood in speechless silence, and Steph began her negotiation for a lower price. The price quickly dropped to 500 rubles, but we worked what little Russian phrases that we knew and throwing in that we were poor college students, and finally I heard exactly what I wanted to hear, “For you, special price”. Steph managed to get the price down to 400 rubles, around $12! Still a little bit more than I had originally wanted to pay, but hey, that was as good as I was going to get.

We then ran into Gabby and Martha who were heading to the market, and I decided to join them in hopes of practicing my bargaining skills, even though I had no more money left. Saddest part of shopping is knowing you can’t buy anything. I kept my silence and spoke in Lithuanian as much as possible, saying I was from Lietuva (the European way of saying Lithuania) and speaking the rest in the best broken English I could manage. I had one woman fully accept that I was Lithuanian, and almost got a jeweled peacock on an egg with stand for the price that I was going for. Sadly, I didn’t want to bargain too well because I honestly had nothing on me and I would have felt horrible if I had gotten down to my asking price and still walked away without it. Oh well, I was happy enough to be accepted as a Lithuanian. My Lithuanian finally came in handy :).
Around 7 the group packed up all of our belongings and walked to our final train ride. This was the best room accommodations as we had one compartment per four students, and I had a very comfy bottom bunk. Time for some travel soup and then another attempt to catch some sleep before being woken up for the Russian and Latvian border checks.

Oct 31
Ugh, it’s one of the most confusing things to be woken up on a train by a random person in a uniform flicking the light on and speaking to you in a language that you didn’t understand. But apparently I was conscious enough for the woman to accept that I was who my passport said I was, and I quickly buried my face into my pillow. An even more confusing moment is waking up to another border check thinking you’re still at the first one because you don’t remember the train moving at all. Yep, I woke up to another random person in a uniform flicking the lights on in my face and talking to me in yet another language that I didn’t understand.

The group arrived in Riga around 9:00 and we got on our bus for the 5 hour ride back to Klaipėda. And so for the fifth time, I failed to sleep on a moving vehicle. Oh well, this simply means that I’m going to sleep wonderfully tonight in my own warm bed! Oh, and today we fell back an hour for Daylights Savings, which is a fun fact: Europe changes times too. But we change back an hour the last Sunday in October, where all of you change the first Sunday in November. This means that until Sunday I am only 6 hours ahead of you instead of the usual 7 :). Enjoy the extra time you have with me!

P.S. I hope someone went trick-or-treating for me! Happy Halloween everyone :)!

Friday, October 22, 2010

Too Much Breaking

Oct 18-20
This week is awful. Actually, this whole month has been pretty annoying.

I promise
I want to let you know
That I am always with you
No matter what happens
No matter what you’re going through
You can always count on me
To be by your side
Through thick and thin
And know that you don’t have to hide
The pain and hurt that you feel
For I am here to share
The burden that you carry
Because in my heart I care
About you so deeply
In hopes that you will realize
That you do not have to be alone
During your darkest times
This I promise you.


There are so many things in life that I’m not meant to understand.
So does that mean that I should accept them and live?
Or should I reject them and fall?

Never before have I had these poems be so true. Everyone around me is breaking down, and I don’t know what to do to help. I guess the only thing I can do is not break down too. Not while everyone else needs me to stay strong. Well everyone, I’m here. Whatever I can do to make your situation better, I’m here. Come to me for support, and I will never turn you away. My heart is yours to share, please take it and find peace.

“The only good thing about a runny nose is that it makes you keep your head up.” -Me

Oct 21
Soo… my presentation was interesting. I was able to print my paper out that was due, but then I went to upload my power point slides on the main computer, suddenly the Internet wasn’t working. I ask my professor about it, and she looks down and sees that the cord was cut. Well then... James let Lauren and me use his flash drive so that we could upload our slides to the computer that way. Lauren’s worked, but Hotmail wasn’t letting me log on to my account. Uhhh… I moved to a different computer, only to get the same result: Server is too busy. Wow.. way to go Hotmail. I asked the IT tech guy, and he said it was Hotmail’s fault and there was nothing he could do to help. Now I get to do my presentation with no power point slides. Awesome.

James needed my help to demonstrate some of the aspects of relationships like affiliation, need conflict and other stuff. So we’re up there and I’m making funny faces, that of course went along with what James was talking about. Then it was my turn to go. Got up in front of the class, looked at everyone and laughed saying, “Well, since the Internet is down, that is my power point presentation” and pointed at the blue desktop screen that was projected on the wall. “My paper is about fear, which is currently pretty accurate because it’s what I’m feeling right now. My eyes got really big when Hotmail wasn’t loading, my hands got all cold, my muscles were very tense because I wanted to just leave and skip class and my heart is still racing.” And that’s how the intro to my presentation went. I dunno, I think it went pretty well overall, not too terrible considering that I didn’t practice anything at all beforehand and I was fighting back a mental breakdown.

To top it off, I had to go take an exam right after. I was going to need more Snickers’ bars… I think it went decent, but at this point I don’t want to think about it anymore. Nothing I can do about it now, so what’s done is done. Yeah, alright self, whatever you say.

Alpha was the only thing to get me through this night: shepherd’s pie and Emas. Emas is such a talented talker and so knowledgeable and funny in his style of answering questions. It makes me think: you don’t need to actually answer someone’s question to fully answer it. Sometimes people need to find their own answers to the questions they ask, because they won’t necessarily accept whatever answer that you give, regardless of the content. I dunno, just food for thought.

I’m sorry for complaining. I know my week wasn’t even that bad, and I really shouldn’t be complaining about it, so I’ll try not to anymore. I am glad it’s almost over though. Only a little bit more left and then I’m free for fall break. And what a break it will be :) stay tuned for stories.

Oct 22
I got beat up today. I was halfway to campus, and all of a sudden I see tiny little raindrops start to appear on the sidewalk. Uh oh, time to walk a bit faster. Ever so slowly the raindrops begin to get bigger, the pace of my walking increasing with them. Then I started to really feel the drops against my coat. It started raining harder, but then I was seeing these little white balls bounce against the pavement. Is that hail? Am I seriously getting hit by hail?! Yes, yes I was.. I put my hood up and booked it to campus. It was a lost cause though because I had no chance against the hail. It only got worse the closer I got to campus. I walked into the lobby and went to a nearby classroom to look for my umbrella. Only would have been slightly helpful at first because after a while it got too windy for my umbrella to be effective anyway. Sadly, I didn’t find my umbrella in the classroom that I left it in (but I did eventually find it, don’t worry), but when I turned around I did see little footprints soaked into the carpet. I looked behind me only to see that the footprints stopped where I was standing. My shoes were so drenched with water that I left a path of where I had walked. Never again shall I wear my little moccasins when it rains.

Thank GOD it’s finally Friday!! This week seemed to drag on forever, but I guess that’s because I’m so excited to leave for Russia tomorrow morning! This Fall Break is definitely necessary. I really need a break from school, let alone I’ve missed traveling. And don’t worry all my fellow college friends, you’ll have some days off for Thanksgiving Break (and actually get to celebrate Thanksgiving… oh the stuffing <3), so that’s payback.

Here’s a brief itinerary for Russia:
Saturday 23: Klaipėda to Riga (5 hr bus ride) to Moscow (overnight train)
Sun 24- Mon 25: Moscow
Tues 26: Moscow to St. Petersburg (5 hr train ride)
Wed 27- Fri 28: St. Petersburg
Sat 29: St. Petersburg to Riga (overnight train)
Sun 30- Riga to Klaipėda (5 hr bus ride)

Russian Fun Facts:
Kimberly Lizann Strauch = КИМБЭРΛИ ΛИЗЭН СТРАУК

The Russian alphabet freaks me out. The letters are terrifying and don’t seem to make too much sense at first glance. I need to do some quick memorizing to help me pronounce everything. Either that or I’m shadowing James around everywhere.

$1 US = 31 Russian Rubles

Russia will be cold. Very, very cold. But hey, I'd rather be cold than hot.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Mārtiņš is bipolar, and I want an orange shag rug carpet

Oct 11
Oh, Lithuanian. How I love you so. My midterm went better than expected, but we will see what the grade says. Happy Columbus Day everyone! Glad you have no school and I do!

Oct 12
“Give me freedom and give me internet. These are both basic, essential human rights” – Mārtiņš and Derek. So true guys. So, so true. The internet has still been acting up, and for the most part, I do not have internet in my room for the vast majority of the day. I spend more time trying to fix my internet connection than I would normally spend wasting time on Facebook if I could! But come on, when I’m trying not to study here, what else am I supposed to distract myself with besides Facebook?! …Save me…

Everyone around me is bipolar. And when I say everyone, I really only mean Mārtiņš. I went downstairs to give Merunas his Soc notes back, but apparently I missed him by about 20 seconds. Mārtiņš was attempting to write a paper, but he couldn’t think of a good thesis, so I sat down at the table to kinda sorta but not really study for Soc and mock him about how he couldn’t think of a good thesis. Absolutely loving his other works, he insisted that I read this one as well. As I tried to help him come up with a thesis, Merunas comes in and distracts me from helping Mārtiņš anymore. Mārtiņš starts freaking out on Merunas, telling him to stop distracting me so I can finish writing his paper. Ugh, I was NOT writing his paper!! But neither Merunas nor Mike believed me, and poor Adomas probably thinks I’m completely nuts. But then again, remembering who his roommates are.. I think I’m safe. Anyway, I finally came up with a decent enough thesis for Mārtiņš to work with, and eventually he subtly yet very blatantly tells me to leave. After being told that I’m not wanted anymore, I obviously go to leave and both he and Merunas yell at me not to go! I sink down into a chair, totally confused, and allowed Mārtiņš to convince me to stay and watch him cook potatoes. Oh joy. Well, it was either that or study for my Soc exam tomorrow, I’m pretty sure you know which option won. I got a knife and started peeling potatoes, to only be doing that wrong too. Mārtiņš and Merunas both offer me some of the potatoes, and when I refused they absolutely insisted on making me try some. So I said, “Fine, if you really want me to eat the potatoes, I will” and then they both refused to give me any of their food! WHY IS EVERYONE BIPOLAR?! Ugh.. boys….

Oct 13
Happy Birthday Lauren!! Forget about Soc exams, I want a fiesta! (Lauren is part Mexican). Braving the darkness to walk over to LCC on my own in order to make it to this wonderful party was well worth it. There were tacos and chips and beans and all other sorts of fun fiesta food. There was even a homemade Merunas original piñata! I was more than glad to let Lauren have all the fun with the piñata, there was a reason why I quit softball :)

Oct 15
Since SOMEONE (ahem Gabby!!!) decided to cancel on me, chili night was changed from Tuesday to today. And it wasn’t even in Karklu anymore, since the Neumann people completely outnumber me. Gabby had some meat since Monday, and it looked/smelled kinda iffy, but I decided to still give it a shot, but after cooking it and comparing it to the other meat, we decided to be on the safe side and not use it. But wow, the food was so good that it was all gone, except for one small helping. Definitely will be cooking chili again in the near future.

Then off to Memelis- it was one of those you-had-to-be-there moments to understand it :)
Oct 16
I wish I could tell you how productive of a day I had today, but I can’t. Stayed in bed til around 12, then Calvin canceled our plans to go to the thrift store, and then got convinced by Mārtiņš to go distract him. Or distract myself by distracting him really, because I have a 5 min Lithuanian presentation on my family on Monday! Yay me :) Well, that’s what Sunday is for, right? Of course… Mārtiņš forced me to watch Robin Hood, but it was in Russian. I’m practically fluent now ;). Later I there was an awesome get together at Vaiva’s house that included awesome food, amazing music, and even better people. Plus, I found a new cooking buddy. What a wonderful night. I really don’t want this weekend to end!

Oct 17
Must be productive… I must be productive… Yeah, no, didn’t work too well. Though I know I should be working on my presentation, I’m sitting here writing this post. Hmm.. I think there’s something wrong with that. But oh well, I needed to be distracted for a while. This week is going to be annoying, but then Saturday we head off to Russia!

Then off to be re-Americanized. Allison, my study abroad recruiter, came back from a recent trip from the States, and brought back some goodies. There were kit kats, peanut butter, oreos, Reese’s, peanut butter cookies, Autumn-in-a-cup tea and other yummy goodies. And then she surprised us further by putting in “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown”. It was so nice to have a comfortable and familiar American setting. And I got to share my dream of my fun room. I will try to make a picture of what I want, but for now here is a description:

Orange shag carpet; red entrance rug; different color blue sheets, with a crazy deep blue pattern comforter; dark purple curtains; matching opposite walls- one wall will be black with bright pink zebra stripes, and then the opposite wall will be bright pink with black zebra stripes, and the other two walls will be deep green with bright yellow leopard spots, and the opposite wall will be bright yellow with deep green leopard spots; the ceiling will be a mix of all the colors, very softly mixing with each other; the furniture will be an off-white or cream color; and finally, a black fuzzy butterfly chair.

To my future husband: Honey, I will have this room somewhere in our house, and you will like it. Love, me :)