Too Much Breaking

Oct 18-20

This week is awful. Actually, this whole month has been pretty annoying.

I promise

I want to let you know

That I am always with you

No matter what happens

No matter what you’re going through

You can always count on me

To be by your side

Through thick and thin

And know that you don’t have to hide

The pain and hurt that you feel

For I am here to share

The burden that you carry

Because in my heart I care

About you so deeply

In hopes that you will realize

That you do not have to be alone

During your darkest times

This I promise you.

There are so many things in life that I’m not meant to understand.

So does that mean that I should accept them and live?

Or should I reject them and fall?

Never before have I had these poems be so true. Everyone around me is breaking down, and I don’t know what to do to help. I guess the only thing I can do is not break down too. Not while everyone else needs me to stay strong. Well everyone, I’m here. Whatever I can do to make your situation better, I’m here. Come to me for support, and I will never turn you away. My heart is yours to share, please take it and find peace.

“The only good thing about a runny nose is that it makes you keep your head up.” -Me

Oct 21

Soo… my presentation was interesting. I was able to print my paper out that was due, but then I went to upload my power point slides on the main computer, suddenly the Internet wasn’t working. I ask my professor about it, and she looks down and sees that the cord was cut. Well then... James let Lauren and me use his flash drive so that we could upload our slides to the computer that way. Lauren’s worked, but Hotmail wasn’t letting me log on to my account. Uhhh… I moved to a different computer, only to get the same result: Server is too busy. Wow.. way to go Hotmail. I asked the IT tech guy, and he said it was Hotmail’s fault and there was nothing he could do to help. Now I get to do my presentation with no power point slides. Awesome.

James needed my help to demonstrate some of the aspects of relationships like affiliation, need conflict and other stuff. So we’re up there and I’m making funny faces, that of course went along with what James was talking about. Then it was my turn to go. Got up in front of the class, looked at everyone and laughed saying, “Well, since the Internet is down, that is my power point presentation” and pointed at the blue desktop screen that was projected on the wall. “My paper is about fear, which is currently pretty accurate because it’s what I’m feeling right now. My eyes got really big when Hotmail wasn’t loading, my hands got all cold, my muscles were very tense because I wanted to just leave and skip class and my heart is still racing.” And that’s how the intro to my presentation went. I dunno, I think it went pretty well overall, not too terrible considering that I didn’t practice anything at all beforehand and I was fighting back a mental breakdown.

To top it off, I had to go take an exam right after. I was going to need more Snickers’ bars… I think it went decent, but at this point I don’t want to think about it anymore. Nothing I can do about it now, so what’s done is done. Yeah, alright self, whatever you say.

Alpha was the only thing to get me through this night: shepherd’s pie and Emas. Emas is such a talented talker and so knowledgeable and funny in his style of answering questions. It makes me think: you don’t need to actually answer someone’s question to fully answer it. Sometimes people need to find their own answers to the questions they ask, because they won’t necessarily accept whatever answer that you give, regardless of the content. I dunno, just food for thought.

I’m sorry for complaining. I know my week wasn’t even that bad, and I really shouldn’t be complaining about it, so I’ll try not to anymore. I am glad it’s almost over though. Only a little bit more left and then I’m free for fall break. And what a break it will be :) stay tuned for stories.

Oct 22

I got beat up today. I was halfway to campus, and all of a sudden I see tiny little raindrops start to appear on the sidewalk. Uh oh, time to walk a bit faster. Ever so slowly the raindrops begin to get bigger, the pace of my walking increasing with them. Then I started to really feel the drops against my coat. It started raining harder, but then I was seeing these little white balls bounce against the pavement. Is that hail? Am I seriously getting hit by hail?! Yes, yes I was.. I put my hood up and booked it to campus. It was a lost cause though because I had no chance against the hail. It only got worse the closer I got to campus. I walked into the lobby and went to a nearby classroom to look for my umbrella. Only would have been slightly helpful at first because after a while it got too windy for my umbrella to be effective anyway. Sadly, I didn’t find my umbrella in the classroom that I left it in (but I did eventually find it, don’t worry), but when I turned around I did see little footprints soaked into the carpet. I looked behind me only to see that the footprints stopped where I was standing. My shoes were so drenched with water that I left a path of where I had walked. Never again shall I wear my little moccasins when it rains.

Thank GOD it’s finally Friday!! This week seemed to drag on forever, but I guess that’s because I’m so excited to leave for Russia tomorrow morning! This Fall Break is definitely necessary. I really need a break from school, let alone I’ve missed traveling. And don’t worry all my fellow college friends, you’ll have some days off for Thanksgiving Break (and actually get to celebrate Thanksgiving… oh the stuffing <3), so that’s payback.

Here’s a brief itinerary for Russia:

Saturday 23: Klaipėda to Riga (5 hr bus ride) to Moscow (overnight train)

Sun 24- Mon 25: Moscow

Tues 26: Moscow to St. Petersburg (5 hr train ride)

Wed 27- Fri 28: St. Petersburg

Sat 29: St. Petersburg to Riga (overnight train)

Sun 30- Riga to Klaipėda (5 hr bus ride)

Russian Fun Facts:

Kimberly Lizann Strauch = КИМБЭРΛИ ΛИЗЭН СТРАУК

The Russian alphabet freaks me out. The letters are terrifying and don’t seem to make too much sense at first glance. I need to do some quick memorizing to help me pronounce everything. Either that or I’m shadowing James around everywhere.

$1 US = 31 Russian Rubles

Russia will be cold. Very, very cold. But hey, I'd rather be cold than hot.